The King's New Child
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This was written as a "sample text" so that my Creative Writing students would know the kind of thing I was looking for when I assigned them to create and perform their own fairy tale plays.
THE KING'S NEW CHILD
Setting: In a castle
NARRATOR: Once upon a time, a beautiful queen died of a sudden, swift illness. Her husband, the king, was left sad and lonely in his castle.
KING: If only my queen had given me a child before she passed away. Someone to preoccupy my time, someone to love! Someone to remember her by! Oh, how I wish, wish, wish for a child to call my own!
NARRATOR: As it just so happens, witches have fantastic hearing, and they are always listening for the cries of royalty.
A witch flies into the castle and greets the king.
WITCH: Did someone just wish, wish, wish for a witch, witch, witch?
KING: No, I wished, wished, wished for a child to call my own.
WITCH: What if I could give you what you so desire?
KING: Oh, could you, really? That would be fantastic!
WITCH: As you wish, wish, wish, my king!
NARRATOR: The witch flew in circles over the king and said the magic words.
WITCH: Flim flam! Alakazam! Green eggs and ham!
NARRATOR: And *poof!* Just like that, the king’s new child appeared before him. However, she was not what the king expected at all.
A dragon enters.
DRAGON: This is my daddy? Like, he’s all old and wrinkly.
KING: What sorcery is this? I asked for a child!
WITCH: Hehehe. This is a child. A young dragon, just for you.
KING: How old is she?
DRAGON: I’m, like, 173 years old.
KING: A teenage dragon?! Even worse! Nooooooooooooo!
WITCH: Good luck. You’ll need it. Hehehe.
The witch flies away.
DRAGON: Can I, like, go to the mall?
KING: Now?
DRAGON: I, like, need a One Direction poster.
KING: What’s a One Direction?
DRAGON: You have, like, lots of money, right?
KING: I am the king, yes. I have a room full of treasure.
DRAGON: Can you, like, buy me Harry? Or Niall? I could even settle for, like, Zayn.
KING: I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.
DRAGON: You never give me what I want! I hate you!
The dragon runs off, sobbing.
KING: What just happened?
NARRATOR: The king’s child was not easy to deal with.
The king brings a donkey to the dragon.
KING: Here is your new pet, my dear.
DRAGON: I said I wanted, like, a chupacabra. Something cute! Not a dumb donkey!
DONKEY: Excuse you, but I have a rather high IQ.
KING: Chupacabras are rare to come by. You already ate all the puppies and kittens in the kingdom.
DONKEY: Wait, no one told me the scary princess has an eating problem!
DRAGON: Daddy! He just, like, called me ugly and fat!
DONKEY: I did not!
DRAGON: Shut up!
The dragon kills the donkey and eats it.
DRAGON: Now I want a new one, Daddy! One that isn’t, like, so mean!
NARRATOR: The king could not deal with his daughter’s demands. He tried to find her a suitor, someone who would love her for her. Someone who would take her off his hands. But it was not easy to find the brat a boyfriend.
The king talks to a knight.
KING: Will you not take her out on even a single date?
KNIGHT: No offense, my lord, but your daughter is…not exactly my type.
KING: Is she not?
KNIGHT: First of all, I am a man. And she is not even a human being.
KING: Can you not look past that?
KNIGHT: Um…No.
The dragon enters behind the knight.
KNIGHT: Plus, she has a terrible temper.
DRAGON: No, I don’t! You’re, like, such a jerk!
The dragon kills and eats the knight.
KING: Not another one.
DRAGON: All I want is, like, a boyfriend, and you can’t even get that for me! I hate you! You never get me what I want!
The dragon runs away, sobbing.
KING: Being a father is tougher than I thought it would be. I wish, wish, wish my daughter were better behaved.
NARRATOR: As it just so happens, witches have fantastic hearing, and they are always listening for the cries of royalty.
The witch flies into the castle and greets the king.
WITCH: Hello, king.
KING: Not you again. I was hoping my fairy godmother would come.
WITCH: Silly king. Fairy godmothers don’t exist.
KING: Oh.
WITCH: Are you having problems with your little daughter?
KING: She’s terrible. Can you please make her a less horrible creature?
WITCH: Silly king. No one can choose who his child will be. He must love her no matter what. He must teach her how to behave. That is your duty as a parent.
KING: But I’m the king! I shouldn’t have to deal with this!
WITCH: Hehehe. Too bad, so sad.
The witch flies away.
NARRATOR: So the king went to his daughter.
The king meets the dragon.
DRAGON: Daddy, I’m, like, hungry. Go get me, like, a donkey or another knight. Now.
KING: No.
DRAGON: What did you just say to me?
KING: I said, NO! I am your father, and you will obey me. I know it’s not easy for you to be so different than everyone else. I understand, because I am the king, and everyone is afraid of me, too. But that does not give me the right to act like a jerk all the time.
DRAGON: Daddy-
KING: Listen to me. Your behavior has been unacceptable. You have to be better. You just have to! It must be difficult to not have a mother around. It’s not easy for me to not have her around, either. But we are all each other has. Understand? We have to be here for each other.
DRAGON: Okay, Daddy.
KING: I love you, daughter.
DRAGON: I love you, too. I’ll be better.
KING: Thank you.
The king and the dragon hug.
NARRATOR: The king and his child lived happily ever after. She someday married a Tyrannosaurus rex who was the prince in a neighboring kingdom, and she only complained to him some of the time.
The End.