The King's New Child

This was written as a "sample text" so that my Creative Writing students would know the kind of thing I was looking for when I assigned them to create and perform their own fairy tale plays.

THE KING'S NEW CHILD

Setting: In a castle

NARRATOR: Once upon a time, a beautiful queen died of a sudden, swift illness. Her husband, the king, was left sad and lonely in his castle.

KING: If only my queen had given me a child before she passed away. Someone to preoccupy my time, someone to love! Someone to remember her by! Oh, how I wish, wish, wish for a child to call my own!

NARRATOR: As it just so happens, witches have fantastic hearing, and they are always listening for the cries of royalty.

A witch flies into the castle and greets the king.

WITCH: Did someone just wish, wish, wish for a witch, witch, witch?

KING: No, I wished, wished, wished for a child to call my own.

WITCH: What if I could give you what you so desire?

KING: Oh, could you, really? That would be fantastic!

WITCH: As you wish, wish, wish, my king!

NARRATOR: The witch flew in circles over the king and said the magic words.

WITCH: Flim flam! Alakazam! Green eggs and ham!

NARRATOR: And *poof!* Just like that, the king’s new child appeared before him. However, she was not what the king expected at all.

A dragon enters.

DRAGON: This is my daddy? Like, he’s all old and wrinkly.

KING: What sorcery is this? I asked for a child!

WITCH: Hehehe. This is a child. A young dragon, just for you.

KING: How old is she?

DRAGON: I’m, like, 173 years old.

KING: A teenage dragon?! Even worse! Nooooooooooooo!

WITCH: Good luck. You’ll need it. Hehehe.

The witch flies away.

DRAGON: Can I, like, go to the mall?

KING: Now?

DRAGON: I, like, need a One Direction poster.

KING: What’s a One Direction?

DRAGON: You have, like, lots of money, right?

KING: I am the king, yes. I have a room full of treasure.

DRAGON: Can you, like, buy me Harry? Or Niall? I could even settle for, like, Zayn.

KING: I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.

DRAGON: You never give me what I want! I hate you!

The dragon runs off, sobbing.

KING: What just happened?

NARRATOR: The king’s child was not easy to deal with.

The king brings a donkey to the dragon.

KING: Here is your new pet, my dear.

DRAGON: I said I wanted, like, a chupacabra. Something cute! Not a dumb donkey!

DONKEY: Excuse you, but I have a rather high IQ.

KING: Chupacabras are rare to come by. You already ate all the puppies and kittens in the kingdom.

DONKEY: Wait, no one told me the scary princess has an eating problem!

DRAGON: Daddy! He just, like, called me ugly and fat!

DONKEY: I did not!

DRAGON: Shut up!

The dragon kills the donkey and eats it.

DRAGON: Now I want a new one, Daddy! One that isn’t, like, so mean!

NARRATOR: The king could not deal with his daughter’s demands. He tried to find her a suitor, someone who would love her for her. Someone who would take her off his hands. But it was not easy to find the brat a boyfriend.

The king talks to a knight.

KING: Will you not take her out on even a single date?

KNIGHT: No offense, my lord, but your daughter is…not exactly my type.

KING: Is she not?

KNIGHT: First of all, I am a man. And she is not even a human being.

KING: Can you not look past that?

KNIGHT: Um…No.

The dragon enters behind the knight.

KNIGHT: Plus, she has a terrible temper.

DRAGON: No, I don’t! You’re, like, such a jerk!

The dragon kills and eats the knight.

KING: Not another one.

DRAGON: All I want is, like, a boyfriend, and you can’t even get that for me! I hate you! You never get me what I want!

The dragon runs away, sobbing.

KING: Being a father is tougher than I thought it would be. I wish, wish, wish my daughter were better behaved.

NARRATOR: As it just so happens, witches have fantastic hearing, and they are always listening for the cries of royalty.

The witch flies into the castle and greets the king.

WITCH: Hello, king.

KING: Not you again. I was hoping my fairy godmother would come.

WITCH: Silly king. Fairy godmothers don’t exist.

KING: Oh.

WITCH: Are you having problems with your little daughter?

KING: She’s terrible. Can you please make her a less horrible creature?

WITCH: Silly king. No one can choose who his child will be. He must love her no matter what. He must teach her how to behave. That is your duty as a parent.

KING: But I’m the king! I shouldn’t have to deal with this!

WITCH: Hehehe. Too bad, so sad.

The witch flies away.

NARRATOR: So the king went to his daughter.

The king meets the dragon.

DRAGON: Daddy, I’m, like, hungry. Go get me, like, a donkey or another knight. Now.

KING: No.

DRAGON: What did you just say to me?

KING: I said, NO! I am your father, and you will obey me. I know it’s not easy for you to be so different than everyone else. I understand, because I am the king, and everyone is afraid of me, too. But that does not give me the right to act like a jerk all the time.

DRAGON: Daddy-

KING: Listen to me. Your behavior has been unacceptable. You have to be better. You just have to! It must be difficult to not have a mother around. It’s not easy for me to not have her around, either. But we are all each other has. Understand? We have to be here for each other.

DRAGON: Okay, Daddy.

KING: I love you, daughter.

DRAGON: I love you, too. I’ll be better.

KING: Thank you.

The king and the dragon hug.

NARRATOR: The king and his child lived happily ever after. She someday married a Tyrannosaurus rex who was the prince in a neighboring kingdom, and she only complained to him some of the time.

The End.